Say Something I'm Giving Up On You
by Johanna Leiro
Summary: Sollux hasn't been the same lately. Something was itching at his mind. Finally, one night, he acts on his matesprit, Eridan. /this is a sadstuck, trigger warnings inside, and I'm not too good at these summaries so yeah. I AM NOT SURE IF I AM CONTINUING THIS STORY. I HAVE NO PLANS FOR FUTURE ACTIONS./


_**a/n: Yeah I wrote this over an all nighter without any sleep so if there are mistakes, autocorrect didn't pick it up or correct it right. OnO I'm uploading from my phone right now because I have shit wifi at my aunt's house. I've been here for about a week for my cousin's birthday cookout. I know I'm around 450+ posts behind on New World but I'm a lazy bitch, I know.**_

Pairing:

EriSol RedRom

Whole story trigger warnings, I haven't really thought this out too well.

#TW: rape, possible character deaths, gore, alcohol, drunken Sollux.

He whined at you, you were drunk again, you seemed to do this much more often now, your odd eyes of red and blue holding an off glint. Everything was a blur, how he suddenly seemed angry at the door when you walked in, then when you had your hands clawing at his neck, pushing The male over, he was now a mess beneath you, your psionics pinning him down like the pathetic seadweller he was.

You'd recently found solace in human alcohol as it didn't cause you such horrid migraines like the mind honey always had. You ripped your hand back, yellow blood oozing it's way out of the bite in your skin.

You let out a hideously slurred growl, drunken, pupil-less eyes unfocused and angry, you screeched at Eridan.

"You killed her! You killed her, you fucking monster! I'll kill you, you ass! I hate you!" Your lisp stood out much worse in your inebriated state, and you yanked Eridan into a rough kiss, gnashing your teeth against his in a heated, furious embrace.

This was the first time something like this had happened, you'd usually stomp to your respiteblock and pass out on the human recuperacoon that earth provided, the closest thing to sopor you ever received being prescription medication for sleep. Not tonight though, you were too angry with past memories slurred into new and confused lies to dwell on them. You were going to solve this once and for all and kill your matesprit for what he had done.

You, Sollux Captor, were having too many blackened thoughts at once to make any sense whatsoever. You were grinding against Eridan forcefully, even when he tried feebly to fight back.

Eridan let out a sharp keen when you gripped his aroused bulge tightly, pumping your hand over it roughly after you yanked the unfortunate seadweller's pants down, pulling them off completely even as Eridan squirmed against the cold tile floor.

You tugged his undergarments away, palming his bulge for a moment before you pushed a finger into Eridan's nook without warning, making him moan, your psionics left binding him now, teasing at the skin. You played with the seadweller for some time, watching the pools of violet grow beneath the violet blood rapidly, you felt your own pants too tight for your comfort, tugging them off with more lust than anger.

You'd forgotten your plan on killing the boy beneath you as you thrusted into him, both entrances filled on his part by your twin bulges, you loved that pleased, pained, begging moan that left that dipshit's lips every time you heard it.

The next morning you woke with a start, cold sweat beading around your forehead as you looked wildly for Eridan. It had to be a nightmare, it had to be, it had to be a fucking nightmare.

You rolled out of the bed, rushing to find your matesprit and make sure he wasn't harmed. You swallowed the harsh lump in your throat at the sight of the muddled yellow and violet genetic material on the tile floor of the entertainment block, and turned more urgently through the eerily silent home.

"Eridan, answer me! Come on, where are you, are you okay?!" There was no response from the said male, and Sollux spotted thick violet smudges on the wall and floor, leading to the violet blood's own block, where you rapped on the door anxiously, bifurcated brain working overdrive I. Your Minor hangover.

You were met with a small, fearful whine, and you flinched back slightly, knowing that indeed, you had hurt him, and yes, you raped your matesprit.

You took a step back again when the door creaked open slowly, revealing Eridan's bloodied face and unkempt hair, his glasses were missing from his face, likely broken, and you cringed, guilt leaking it's way into your thinkpan.

You had raped him. You, Sollux Captor, had raped him, Eridan Ampora, your matesprit. You had hurt him beyond any of your deepest regrets. That hurt you too, that you had done that. It hurt you with the way he tried to smile at you lovingly, but it crumpled with fear, and you shook your head, turning to leave, striding right out of the home with labored breath.

You needed to be alone, to sort this out, to make it clear in your head. You gave a pathetic whine of your own, noticing the carefully bandaged wound over your hand, smudged purple, Eridan had chosen to take care of you instead of himself.

Just like him to be sweet to you, even after your despicable actions. You tugged your glasses away, your shirtless state revealing the bruises you held from your fight with Eridan that night, how you had won.

You wished he was rougher with you about it instead of pretending this never happened. You wouldn't forgive yourself for it. You needed to pay for it yourself, he just feared losing you, he took any blows you gave, blowing it off like it was nothing when it clearly was a problem. You wished, you wished, you wished, but he... He just never took the relationship seriously.

He blew every time you got angry with him off without a fight like you used to, and you hated that, you wished he would stand up for himself like he used to, back in the game. You wished... He fought back more when you did... That... To him.

You sat on the bench beside the creek in the local park you had found yourself in, and leaned forward, closing your eyes. You let out a guilt-ridden sob escape your lips, hiding your face in your hands as you did.

You felt so hideous, you felt like a monster, like a fucking disgrace. You gave another shaky sob, pale yellow making it's way down your cheeks as you let your depression and self loathing get the better of you, digging claw marks into your own wrists as you held them tight. You felt a light pat to your shoulder, and jumped, momentarily horrified until you saw those fluffy black tresses, then you sighed, looking up at the maroon-blooded troll with the ram horns. Aradia was a beautiful troll, both she and Feferi were. You only felt pale for both of them now.

"Sollux, what's wrong?" The girl asked in her ever-hollowed voice, but it seemed alight with happiness at the same time too, almost hauntingly so.

"You know you can trust me.. What's with the scratches and bruises though?" She tilted her head, smile fading at your cringing reaction.

You stared at your yellow and violet-crusted claws, shaking your head. "I-I raped him." You mumbled blankly, forcing her to ask you once more.

"What?" Her expression turned sour. "You.. What..?" She wasn't sure if she'd heard him right.

"I-" it was becoming increasingly difficult to talk. "I raped.. Eridan." You whined quietly, sniffling as you covered your face again, groaning. Her reaction was silence, horrified, shocked, stunned into silence. Aradia sighed, running her hand through your hair, to which you flinched away. She dropped her hand.

You looked up at her, shaking your head in self-disappointment. You sighed slightly, giving her a pleading look. "What do I do...?"


End file.
